In many families, even in mine, individuals are praised and condemned for the same behaviours. This often times, the mixed signals leave individuals in a cycle of unhealthy behaviours. Its like on one side its a compliment, but its also the reason for others why you are being treated different. Whether it's
The fun auntie that drinks too much, but the family condemns her
The stay at home mom that everyone says is a great mom and wife, but is down talked for not working
The uncle thats a great dad but is told he is too over protective
The brother that everyone calls when its time for something to go down, but is too aggressive so no one wants to be around him
The auntie with all the money but is considered stuck up
The daughter told she is gorgeous told not to say she's pretty
The grown man thats a mommas boy and won't grow up
The nephew that looks after family but has a jailtime habit
Even though this is soo common, it isn't normal and yet, its in so many of our lives. We see it as normal even me,but it hurts people. Honestly, look at it, its like an unapporved family collective on how this person will be identified. Would you want to be identified by people closes to you by your shortcomings; then, even if they change,they are considered still the same or going through something.
We are supposed to evolve, many times it hurts the self esteem of people. True in some situations, for example the aunt example above, the truth can show someone the light to change unhealthy behaviors. But in many people are embarrassed by these titles of shame and praise.
Can you identify some in your life or family? Tell me about them in the forum